A blissful life

It wasn't until recently that I've actually realized how much stress we'd been under as a family. It felt as though the weight of the world was on our shoulders. Now, however, it feels as though all of that weight has been lifted. The skies seem brighter, the air seems fresher, and I have never enjoyed being awoken at 3am more than I do now. My little boy is so content and easy, it seems as though having two at home is much easier than one ever was. Melodie is so good with her brother. She loves to come next to him while he's crying and talk to him in a nice, calming and quiet voice. She loves to give him his pacifier, or sit on my lap and feed him or burp him. She is just in love with her little brother, and he seems to be in love with his sister. Life is pretty blissful right now.

We received a card and gift from one of the couples at church this past week. The card read, "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of Him. -1 Samuel 1:27" On the inside it read, "Sharing the joy of answered prayers, hopes granted and dreams come true." Throughout this pregnancy we held onto the hope of having our son safely in our arms, and every day we get to hold him and see him grow we're reminded of God's faithfulness. The card we received this past week reminded me of a blog post that I'd written the night before Bailey passed away. It was a love letter to our daughter about how much we loved her, how much we prayed for her, and how much we looked forward to seeing her grow and watching the plans that God had for her unfold. Unfortunately those hopes and dreams for our daughter were cut all too short. We never got to hear her cry, we never got to see her smile, never got to stare at her watching her little chest move in the middle of the night just to make sure she was still breathing. We never got to hear her laugh, or come up with a joke, or even hear her voice. I know we will someday, and in the scheme of eternity, that day is not too far off. But when a child is lost at the very threshold of life, it feels as though the very air in your lungs is taken away, and it becomes hard to even breath a breathe of relief. I didn't realize that I had been caring that same "held breathe" with me since we lost Bailey, but it was always there. Now again we're at the threshold of life, but this time we are able to rejoice in Cy's life, of answered prayers, hopes granted and dreams come true. We can finally breath. We know that our son would not be here if it weren't for the steadfast love of the Father, and the commitment to intercessory prayer that went forth on our behalf. Truly, what a time for many to rejoice at this little guy's life. So many people have had a part in him getting here safely. So many people will have a part in steering him towards a life committed to the LORD. Like Hannah standing before Eli, Ryan and I have committed our children to the Father. What a neat card to have received this week, and what a neat reminder that we do get to watch the hopes and dreams we have for this boy unfold.

"...26 I am the woman who was standing here in your presence, praying to the LORD. 27For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition that I made to him. 28Therefore I have lent him to the LORD. As long as he lives, he is lent to the LORD." -1 Samuel 1:26-28

God is Faithful

God is faithful. The last three years have felt like they've been a constant struggle. About three years ago in August Ryan and I tried to start having a second baby. A year and a half ago, we did have our second baby, but she was 19 weeks early, and had passed away before we got to meet her. That delivery was surrounded by uncertainty, was very high risk, and we looked at the possibility of us losing our fertility, if not my life as well. People prayed for us from in our hospital room, throughout the city, across the country and in India a group of women gathered and prayed continuously for us throughout the night that Bailey would come safely and that we'd have a miracle. We did have a miracle that morning. It was Ryan and my 3rd anniversary, and at 6:33 in the morning, Bailey was born. Perfectly whole, perfectly beautiful and before the placenta...which was, our miracle. We got to spend time with our daughter that day, and then five days later buried our little girl with the promise of seeing her someday again in Heaven. God is faithful.

The rest of the year was followed by a lot of pain, both emotional and physical. I had a few surgeries and Ryan and I began trying again for another child. Last August I took Melodie to the opening day of the State Fair. While walking around I had an intense episode of morning sickness. After that, Melo and I went to watch the pig races (It's Wisconsin, you have to have pig races). The way the race works is that they pick three kids out of the crowd to root for the different pigs in the races. There were three races that we watched. The first race came and went and afterwards the guy running the race called out the the winning Pig Rooter, "Hey little lady, what's your name?" The cute little girl responded, "Bailey". The second race was run and the guy running the race called out to the winning Pig Rooter, "Hey little lady, what's YOUR name?" The girl responded, "Uh, it's Bailey." "Bailey?" as if to clarify (because really, how many Baileys have you ever met? I've only met one, and it was my daughter). "Yep, Bailey!". The final race went and the guy asked the winning Pig Rooter, "Hey, what's your name?" She responded, "Um Sir, you're not going to believe me, but it's Bailey." The guy let out a long whistle through his teeth, and said, "Well, ain't that the darndest thing?" Much to the pleasure of the crowd. I, on the other hand, was convinced that this was a special message for me that I was pregnant. So when the end of the month came and went with a negative pregnancy test, I was confused and bummed. Why would it have seemed that God had orchestrated such an odd day at the fair for it all be for naught? It just didn't make sense, but in the midst of that Ryan and I held onto one thing, that God is faithful.

Ryan and I continued to try for another child, and in November we found out that we were expecting another baby in August. We were both thrilled, and nervous. A month later I ended up on bedrest for 8 and 1/2 weeks because of a subchorionic hemorrhage, that I was told, because of its' size in relation to the baby, would likely cause us to miscarry. Again we were surrounded in prayer. And again we trusted the Lord with our pregnancy. I had a relatively easy pregnancy after that point, with only some preterm contractions and a couple of trips to Labor and Delivery to rule out preterm labor, but nothing major. We had a very happy, very active little boy growing inside of me, and we were thrilled but cautious about our excitement. Last week Wednesday I began to contract regularly, after awhile I went to the hospital, was found to be in labor, and got an epidural. Everything was going great. Cy looked good on the monitor, I was comfortable, and things were progressing without a problem. That is, until they broke my water. Cy started having really big decels in his heartrate, and his heart tones looked really ugly, my nurse (and co-worker), turned off the volume of the monitor, turned the screen away and told me just to trust her. I decided to just go with it, relax and be a patient instead of a nurse. A few hours later, my cervix still hadn't changed since when they'd broken my water and the decels continued. My OB came in to place internal monitors, which I knew meant that I only had a couple of hours to make some good change or else I'd end up with a c-section. When my OB returned 20 minutes later and told the nurse to turn off the Pitocin, I figured that it meant Cy's hearttones looked pretty ugly. When she told me I had 10 minutes to be complete and delivered, I realized how ugly his hearttones were. I ended up with a c-section, and at 1:55 in the afternoon, Ryan and I heard a noise that we'd been waiting three years to hear. The sound of our baby crying for the first time. Cy Daniel was also born perfectly whole, but with this kiddo we were given the added blessing of looking forward to enjoying him for the rest of his life. God is faithful.

It wasn't until a few days later that I realized that he had come on the first day of the State Fair. Exactly a year to the day after last year's experience of morning sickness and "The Baileys" at the pig race. God is faithful.

In another neat work of God, our good friends welcomed his parents to town from India. Sunder is from India, where Joanna met him while on a mission's trip with YWAM. Sunder's Dad is the pastor at the church where Joanna did some work, the two fell in love, and after a long courtship, got married and live a few blocks away. Sunder's Dad and Mom were responsible for the all night prayer and fasting that was done by a group of 40-some widows at their church that went through our dark night and resulted in us holding our miracle, Bailey, and being able to say goodbye. This week we were able to welcome them into our home, and THEY were able to hold our most recent miracle, Cy. God is faithful.

We have had such an easy transition to have the two kids at home. I've had such little pain from the c-section that I'm a bit in disbelief. Cy is one of the most content and easy going babies that I've been around, and Melodie adores her brother. We've been welcomed home to numerous e-mails, facebook messages, cards, calls and visits all rejoicing with us at the latest addition to our family. I've been able to have my mom and sister stay with us to help me recover this first week, and I can't believe how easy and wonderful it has been. We are overjoyed, thrilled and blessed. God is faithful.

Number 3

Number three is on his way! Well, in about 22 weeks he'll be on his way, but we're thrilled! I can't believe how the year has gone, and how Melodie has grown over the last few months. She's getting pretty excited about her brother, and quite independent as well.

Baking with the kids

We had Kaiden and Ella over today and decided to make some chocolate chip cookies. Other than the mishap of Melodie running down the street while I ran inside to take the cookies out of the oven, the venture went off without a hitch! Praise the Lord that she didn't run INTO the street! It's amazing what can happen when you turn around for less than a minute.

Anyway, we had a great time with the kiddos. The three of them had a good time "helping", and mixing up the stuff in their own bowls. It's nice to have such good friends at such a young age, and the cookies didn't turn out half bad either!

They also had a good time attempting to take a nap...which really just turned into a giant giggle fest of sorts! Alas, we tried.

Melodie's first soccer practice

We started out the day having a PJ party, with plans for a low-key day. I built a fort for Melodie in the living room, and was planning on laying low. Until...

Melodie discovered her soccer cleats. Then we moved downstairs to kick the ball around, but...

that wasn't enough, plus running around in fleece PJ's is hot. So we needed to change her clothes, but...

there's only so much space available in the basement, so we had to move outside. And that's when...

serious soccer practice began! Watch out world, here Melodie comes!

I was actually really impressed with how well she dribbled the ball, and kicked it.

She also loved to run and chase after it when I'd kick it back up the hill.

and these two shots are my favorite...we practiced some set plays as well... ha!

Nice form kiddo!

Then we went out to the park to run around some more, where we wouldn't have to worry about kicking a ball into the street. Melodie loved dribbling through, er with, the cones.

I caught her sitting on the ball for a breather. We'll have to cover that next time. There's only so much one can handle at a practice.

I like to call this one the "I'm going to take you down" face. Again, watch out world, here she comes!

My little Braveheart!

Fun around the house

Our friends offered to watch Melodie for us last night, so that we could go out and celebrate my birthday. It was a lot of fun, and nice to have a great dinner with just Ryan and me. Melodie also was excited to bring her backpack, and hang out with Kaiden and Ella for the evening! Does the grin show off her excitement enough? She also thought that she was going for an "adventure", so she tried to be like Dora and climb the stairs, run and jump. It was pretty cute.

In college my mom made me a french memo board for my apartment. (Blue and Gold of course!) I put it up yesterday by the table where Melodie and friends color and play with playdough. I like having something to display her artwork on...other than my fridge.

I'm digging Melo's art skills as well. Here's her first REAL attempt to color a picture, other than just scribbling. She picked out all of the colors herself. And after the eyes were done/overdone, I told her that she should try and color Dora's shirt. She pulled out the orange and colored, and then realized I think that Dora's shirt was pink and tried that out too. She also give Dora some pigtails like hers...notice the colored blue circles on either side of Dora's head? Not too shabby for a first attempt.

I've been loving having the basement setup as a playroom, while I fold laundry, but sometimes I catch someone eating the Play-Dough instead of playing with it. Alas, it's non-toxic so I really don't freak out about it...just don't tell Melodie that!

We went out to Target the other day, and Melodie insisted on wearing her Dad's sunglasses, bringing a bear, and her "windmill". Um, thankfully the "windmill" "accidentally" got left in the car when we went into Target.

Melodie has gotten pretty good at navigating the iPod. It sort of scares me, and now I know why my Dad used to always say that NOTHING was where he left it on the computer when we'd come home and use his computer. I get it now Dad. How is it that a 2 year old knows how to move icons and I don't?

Melodie loves to help in the kitchen, which is both fun and a challenge. I find myself coming up with extra steps so that she can "help". Like special mixing the cheese sauce for mac and cheese. Oh well, the smile makes the mess worth it.

Last week Melodie scared us by waking up screaming that her neck "really really hurt". After a trip to the doctor, then to the ER to rule out Meningitis, we found out that it was just a badly sprained muscle. Praise the Lord! We were relieved, but it still took about a week for her neck to get back to normal. You can tell in this picture that she still wasn't turning her head to the left much. Thankfully it's back to normal now, even after a short tumble down the basement stairs this morning. What a relief!

The summer has come and gone

I can't believe that summer has come and gone. It seems like we waited and waited for it to come, and then the warm breezy days danced away before enough of them were enjoyed outside. Thankfully, fall is here and upon us, and I'm enjoying the much cooler weather. Give me a 60 degree day where I can where jeans and a sweatshirt, and I'll be happy to go and play outside.

We've been having a good time with the families from our small group. It's amazing how much fun it has been for the kids to get together and play. This picture is from Harper's birthday party where the kids found a fuzzy catepilar to play with on the ground. We've been so thankful to be surrounded by so many young and growing families at our church. What an encouragement that has been!

Melodie has been quite funny lately. It seems as though two weeks ago, someone flipped on her imagination, and now she has her own little pretend world. She likes to pick fake things up out of a bowl and eat them, or color with them, etc. It's been a lot of fun to see her personality come out more and more. We're so thankful for her.

Even though summer came and went quickly, it still was full of stuff. My friend Sara got married, and Ryan and I enjoyed a wonderful wedding, and time meeting some new friends. there even was a bagpiper at the ceremony, which was a first for us, but oh so cool. Ryan was a little concerned though, when I questioned whether the bagpiper went "COMPLETELY" traditional in his garb...alas, a question we'll never know the answer too...

Back in July, Melodie was potty-trained, and yes, I felt the need to post the obligatory picture of her on the pot. She did a great job, and I was thankful that it was done by Bailey's due date. A random goal, but a goal that Melodie helped meet, and it was nice to have something to celebrate on that day. We went out to Balistreri's Pizzeria, to remember our second girlie with, and were pleasantly surprised at Melodie being able to go "potty" in a public bathroom. Way to go kiddo! We're proud of you!

As has become an annual tradition, we took a trip to Noah's Ark, in the Wisconsin Dells to celebrate Ryan's birthday in August. We spent the majority of our time at "Tadpole Bay" going down the water slide there, and playing with the water tables, and buckets that dumped every 5-10 minutes. We had a great time, and I look forward to going back with Melodie again next year, and seeing how much more she's able to do.

We went with Ana, her brother Gabriel, Ari and Madeline, and had a great time. The cousins got along great, and I'm glad that they were in town to share the day with.

As always, Melodie still loves going to Brewer games, and I think she may have a future as a sports caster, as she regularly follows the games and exclaims in a low voice, "strike!' "Ball!" "Safe!" or "You'rrrrrrrrrre out!". She's pretty entertaining, especially when "Uncle Bill" (our usher) comes around. She loves "Uncle Bill", and he seems to love giving her programs or schedules. It's been pretty cute.