It wasn't until recently that I've actually realized how much stress we'd been under as a family. It felt as though the weight of the world was on our shoulders. Now, however, it feels as though all of that weight has been lifted. The skies seem brighter, the air seems fresher, and I have never enjoyed being awoken at 3am more than I do now. My little boy is so content and easy, it seems as though having two at home is much easier than one ever was. Melodie is so good with her brother. She loves to come next to him while he's crying and talk to him in a nice, calming and quiet voice. She loves to give him his pacifier, or sit on my lap and feed him or burp him. She is just in love with her little brother, and he seems to be in love with his sister. Life is pretty blissful right now.
We received a card and gift from one of the couples at church this past week. The card read, "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of Him. -1 Samuel 1:27" On the inside it read, "Sharing the joy of answered prayers, hopes granted and dreams come true." Throughout this pregnancy we held onto the hope of having our son safely in our arms, and every day we get to hold him and see him grow we're reminded of God's faithfulness. The card we received this past week reminded me of a blog post that I'd written the night before Bailey passed away. It was a love letter to our daughter about how much we loved her, how much we prayed for her, and how much we looked forward to seeing her grow and watching the plans that God had for her unfold. Unfortunately those hopes and dreams for our daughter were cut all too short. We never got to hear her cry, we never got to see her smile, never got to stare at her watching her little chest move in the middle of the night just to make sure she was still breathing. We never got to hear her laugh, or come up with a joke, or even hear her voice. I know we will someday, and in the scheme of eternity, that day is not too far off. But when a child is lost at the very threshold of life, it feels as though the very air in your lungs is taken away, and it becomes hard to even breath a breathe of relief. I didn't realize that I had been caring that same "held breathe" with me since we lost Bailey, but it was always there. Now again we're at the threshold of life, but this time we are able to rejoice in Cy's life, of answered prayers, hopes granted and dreams come true. We can finally breath. We know that our son would not be here if it weren't for the steadfast love of the Father, and the commitment to intercessory prayer that went forth on our behalf. Truly, what a time for many to rejoice at this little guy's life. So many people have had a part in him getting here safely. So many people will have a part in steering him towards a life committed to the LORD. Like Hannah standing before Eli, Ryan and I have committed our children to the Father. What a neat card to have received this week, and what a neat reminder that we do get to watch the hopes and dreams we have for this boy unfold.
"...26 I am the woman who was standing here in your presence, praying to the LORD. 27For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition that I made to him. 28Therefore I have lent him to the LORD. As long as he lives, he is lent to the LORD." -1 Samuel 1:26-28