Thursday, May 14, 2015

Mother's Day

Dear Children,
  On this week following Mother's Day, I feel compelled to write you both a letter.  You, dear ones, have filled my heart with exceeding joy and love.  You have made me happier, stronger, funnier and more patient than I could imagine.  You are both/all uniquely you, and I marvel at how God has knit you together.  You are special.  You are unique.  You. Are. LOVED! 

  From the moment Dad and I met, we had you in mind.  We prayed for you (and still do, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.), and tried for you, and waited for you, and wept for you when we thought we were losing you, and cried out for you, and rejoiced over you, or for you, when you were born.  Sweet Young ones, you have been in my heart and my dreams since I was little.  Know this, as much as I have prayers for, dreamed of and desired you, your Heavenly Father has so much more.  And not only has he dreamed of your present, but he dreams over, plans for and delights in your future.  In praying over you, I hold fast to Jeremiah 1:5:

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations."  

God has perfect plans for you, and when you get overwhelmed sometimes looking at what He has called you to, or start to feel inadequate remember this next portion of Jeremiah 1.  It's there for a reason, to remind you that Jeremiah felt the same way.  And God knew that you too would feel just as he did.  He includes this exchange so that you would know that your strength and your purpose are wholly set in him.  In Him, you won't fail in living up to all He has desired and planned for you.  Apart from Him, you'll still probably do great things (because a perfect designer has gifted and purposed you), but those great things won't be eternally great things and they'll always pale in comparison to what He wants to do with and through you.  

Jeremiah 1:6-8 "Then I said, "Ah, Lord GOD!  Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth." 7 But the LORD said to me,
“Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’;
for to all to whom I send you, you shall go,
and whatever I command you, you shall speak.
 8 Do not be afraid of them,
for I am with you to deliver you,
declares the LORD.”

Melodie, you have to know how pleased your Dad and I are with you.  You, sweet girl, made us parents.  You broke us in, and you've taught us thankfulness and joy.  You are so very special, and I love every way that God has made you.  God has had your heart from the moment you were born.  You have a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit that I love.  The pictures you've drawn and the stories you tell of your revelations of who Jesus is, and what God's heart is.  Child!  That's the good stuff of being a parent!  That is what my prayer for you has always been.  That you would know Jesus and make him known to everyone you meet.  Melodie, you do that.  When you see someone having a hard time, you tune into them and come alongside them to help.  That is being Jesus, Honey.  Never stop.  Not when it becomes unpopular.  Not when people scoff, not when it's uncomfortable.  Never stop loving those that are hurting.  You will find your heart's delight in serving "the fringe" and the "forgotten".  Be eyes that always see, and hands that always respond.  In this, know, that Dad and I have your back.  We support you.  God will stretch us, as He grows you, but we'll do it for you.  You're worth it, He's worth it, they're worth it.  Remember your weapons, when you fight this dark world that desires to separate, burden, hurt and alienate people.  You have prayer, you have the gift of healing and compassion, and you discern well.  Put those gifts to work and grow in them.
Jesus tells his disciples in Matthew 10:16:
"Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves."
 Your gifts will be like mighty arrows in your quiver.  Trust in the Lord to be the one to take aim, but you build your muscles and readiness and be trained and available to be used.  I delight when I dream of the things God has planned for you.  They're big things, and it'll be an exciting adventure.  I love you, sweet girl.

Bailey," my spit-fire redhead" you must know how I long to hold you and squeeze your guts out.  You are our worshipper.  You have been from the start.  You understand worship and Jesus'' response to the Pharisees in a way that I've only had momentary glimpses of.

Luke 19:40
He answered. "I tell you, if these were silent, the very stones would cry out."

What is it like?  To worship with pure, unadulterated, unhindered, unselfish, pure resonating worship?  You, dear one, have known your entire life.  And I'm promised that someday I'll get to learn how to really worship from you.  I ache for that day.  Dream of it often, and delight knowing that you are at the feet of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  All the days of your life, forever and ever.  Keep the watch.  Someday we'll join you.  Until we do, we will praise Him with you.  I love you Bailey girl.  Always and forever.

Cy Daniel.  My boy.  You are another answer to a thousand prayers and sleepless nights.  Everyone of them worth it.  You have such spunk, humor, sensitivity and passion.  You remind me of John.  A great friend of Jesus and the one who it's written of that rested his head on Jesus.

John 13:23
"...One of the disciples, the one Jesus loved dearly, was reclining against him, his head on his shoulder."

Be like John, Cy.  A friend of Jesus, willing to rest on him at all times, and also a great revealer of the Word.  Know Him, as He knows you, and just share Him with others out of that friendship.  You have escaped death on more than one occasion already in your short life, the Father has good and perfect plans for you.  That funny, sensitive and crazy personality will serve the Kingdom well.  Let Jesus be the delight of your life and you will never lose reason to bring joy and life to others.  You are a blessing, dear boy.

April Baby, you left us before we got to know you.  But we love you sweet one.  We ache to meet you.  We're thankful for our brief time here with you, because we know we'll have eternity to get to know you.  You are loved.

My children, you should also know a secret.  I wish I were more for you.  I wish I could tuck you in every night, and be there to pray with you for every nightmare.  I wish I were home every morning to help you get ready for school, and snuggle you and tell you how proud I am of you everyday before you leave.  I wish you always heard my voice saying "Be a light for Jesus". When you walked out the door.   I wish I weren't so tired after work, and that I were more organized to make sure you got signed up for all of the teams you want to play on, with the friends you wanted to be with.  I wish I were slower to frustration, and more abundant in love.  I wish I were more wise, more patient and more understanding of how to nurture who God made you to be.  Know this, in all of my shortcomings, Jesus is more than adequate.  In all of my imperfections, there is one who is perfect.  In sleepless nights, or encounters with the world, He goes with you.  In all of my desires to see good and perfect plans come to pass in your life, there is one whose plans ARE perfect and HE is
"...gracious and compassionate, 
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love".
(Psalm 145:8)
I love you kiddos, and I'm so thankful that God chose me to be your Mom.  You draw me closer to understanding Him.  You make me want to be like Him.  You bring me exceeding joy and delight.  Know always, that when you feel like you've come up short, you're always enough.  Lean in to God and let him transform your identity to be more like his.  It's a wonderfully humbling place to be, and you guys have brought me there.  Thank you!  I love you, each of you.  Now, forever and always.  
Hugs and snuggles,

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