Saturday, February 6, 2010

Bailey Young

We found out this morning that our little one went home to be with Jesus. I hadn't felt her move much Friday during the day or at work, and after having a couple of co-workers doppler me for heart tones I asked the residents to take a look. A couple of ultrasounds later they confirmed what I had feared, that our little Bailey was gone. It's hard to explain the ache I have to hold her and tell her how much I love her, what joy she has brought me, and that I'm proud of her fight. Perhaps that's what woke me up the other morning and inspired the previous blog post. Perhaps it was again God's grace over us, giving me that time to express those things that I now wish I had time to tell her.
My sisters and mom came into town, and they've been a huge help. As well as talking with my brother and sister-in-law on the phone, and notes from friends, co-workers and family. It all seems a bit surreal. I haven't delivered Bailey yet. Her small frame is still nestled within me, until a final decision is made as to how best and most safely deliver her. I find myself putting my hands over my belly and subconsciously feeling for movement, when I realize that none will come. Or I feel a gas bubble and have an instant of relief, followed by the realization that it was just gas and not her.
On Monday, I'm due to be seen by a new OB doctor who specializes in delivering babies in this particular circumstance. That seems hard too, because I'll have to deliver with a different doctor, and in a different hospital than the one I work at. But, as with Bailey's life, this too is part of that tough road for us to walk down.
My sister's brought with them cards from my nieces that I'll post pictures of later. They made me smile and laugh quite a bit. Apparently all of the nieces and nephews were bummed about not being able to come to Milwaukee today, which has made me smile.
Thanks for your prayers for our little Bailey while she was still with us. Please keep praying for us. For a healthy delivery for me, and a safe delivery for her. Please also pray for peace, wisdom, comfort and strength for us as we walk through this time.


emmydk said...

Dear Becky,
My mom called tonight to let me know that your little girl passed away. I cancelled my FB account for multiple reasons, but I remembered this blog you had mentioned awhile back. I just read your previous posts about little Bailey and my heart aches for you and Ryan. I understand how painful the loss of a child can be and words cannot express the emotions that you must be feeling. Thankfully we serve the Almighty God that sends His grace and peace that passes ALL understanding! I will continue to lift you both up in prayer in the weeks and months to come. I am thankful that your faith is strong and I know you will continue to praise Him through this storm! I will pray that the delivery goes well too. When I was induced at 20 weeks with our first it was physically not too bad and she was born within 12 hours. I could go on and on, but I know you have lots of support from your family. Just want you to know that I am thinking about you and I love you Beck!
Your friend,

Amy said...

Becky -- we are praying for you and Ryan during this hard time. Our hearts ache for the loss of your precious daughter -- May God watch over you during the delivary and begin the healing of your body and hearts too.
hugs from the Q fam